Options, Peacefulness
Are these things opposites? Consider the following:
Thank you for your patience in the weeks since the election. That one really set me back–a lot of us, I'd imagine, although not a majority of voters...anyway, I'm not here to publicly spiral, which is probably why I've taken a beat to think about what my real goals for this newsletter are.
In the meantime, my writing group up here in Vermont convened this week, and for our opening free write we each drew a pair of cards from a tarot-like deck of novelty cards. I drew “Options”, and “Peacefulness”. This is the result, with some editing and revision. I like writing from a loose prompt like this for a definite amount of time. It creates conditions where the creativity of writing and the creativity of gameplay overlap, and I produce little prose reflections like the one below.
Options, Peacefulness
Are these things opposites? Consider the following:
What should I stream tonight? What do I want to eat for dinner? Should I get a meal kit subscription? What do I want to do with my life? Where should I go on vacation? Do I want to stay here so I can save up for a new car? What kind of car should I buy?
Should I move somewhere I wouldn’t have to drive so much? How much money do I need to earn to live comfortably in a walkable neighborhood with a bookstore? Are there any jobs with substantial salaries available that won’t make me feel like I am sacrificing my humanity? Why did I never address my oppositional-defiant disorder so I could suck it up and work for a hedge fund or somewhere equally ruthless and uncaring?
Is it too late to go to law school? What kind of law would I practice? Is there money to be made standing up for the underdog? Do I have it in me to wear a suit every day? Would I be the funniest person in my office? Why does that feel important to me, to be the funniest person at the hypothetical office where I hypothetically work with my hypothetical legal education?
Would I get to expense my lunches? Would I get to expense my dry-cleaning? Would I even notice if I didn’t? What is the starting salary at a corporate law firm?
What does it mean to feel “full of peace”? Will I ever be happy? Is that even what I’m aiming for? Am I allowed to be restless in a culture that fetishizes the polarities of mindfulness and grinding focus?
Where did all the prix fixe menus go? Do you want fries with that?
